Richard: Good morning
Not friend: Morning you
Richard: I'd like to speak to Mr. Iforgotthename
Not friend:Whose calling, please?
Richard: Richie
Not friend: Hold on, please, I'll try to put you through......
......pause.......still pause............Richard starts to bite his nails
Mr:Hello
Richard: I am Richie
Mr.: Good morning, you overdrafted more than 2 billions pounds, because of you is financial crisis, are you available later on today.........
Richard: Oh, I am sorry I just bought A few computer games
Mr.: Euch and can you lend me them..
Richard: Yes
Mr.: So goodbye

Richard: Hi you
Friend: What's upppppppppppp you motherfucker
Richard: Is there Joe
Friend: Are you kidding me? It's me you idiot!!!!!!!!!!
Richard: Oh, hello.....I call because of the scuba-diving
Friend: OK, I listen.........
Richard: At first I forgot your e-mail..
Friend: It's colon:comma,dot.hyphen-@slash.cz how could you forgot???????
Richard: Hang on, I need to piss...........
...........
Richard: I need to talk......I'm in a red numbers
Friend: What the hell?........
Richard: I overdrafted
Friend: So.......
Richard: What do you do later
Friend: Nothing, 5 o'clock convinient
Richard: I love you man
Friend: Blah,blah see you later

Embarassing story of three friends

Once upon a time in one city were living three friends. Daniel, Soniel and Hedkoslav they were studing on school called Or chodesh(small, stinky Muslim school). Because they were all unbelievebly hard working on their study results they decited to go camping at holidays( of course after they would successfully vindicated their seminar work). They decited go to Schumava.

So day D finally come. And because they were clever guys they packed all of necassary stuff, like DVD player, LCD tv, computer, piano, microwave, co-pilot and Hedkoslav of course HAD to take his collection of disco-divas CD's with him( George Michael, Michael Jackson,....). Like cool campers they tooked a car. The jouney was going pretty good. Except that homeless whom they knocked down already in Prague. Fortunatelly they had a red Ferrari so the patch from poor homeless wasn't notable.

Like truel raw campers they were singing all the time. But only hardcore songs-they weren't any sharpeners. And because you cannot find more rough song than by Wham! so they were singing with George Michael whole the time-Wake me up before we go-go,Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo,take me dancing tonight.......I wanna hit that high......( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjk0QV4ca90)

Curve left, curve right, pass the village, overtake air-fighter and they would be there. As I already said the journey was curiously enough short. Only 15 miles left. "Hey Soniel, I need to piss, can you stop me there next to that petrol station?" Asked Daniel. "Ok, dookie" answered Soniel. So Daniel went to piss. Soniel was tanking.........but after a while they heard a horrible scream from the WC. "It was definitelly Daniel nobody has that hight voice"......Daniel runed out of the WC. "Go,goooooooo, start up the carrrrrrrrrrr" shouted Daniel. When they were far enough from that petrol station Daniel decited to talk. "There was.....only normall toilet paper......white.....with no parfume....." Soniel pulled down the steering wheel........."What? How? Where are we? In a jungle? No perfumed paper....it's so careless." Started whimpered Soniel. The only one who keeped his mind cleen was Hedkoslav "Hey guys, when is petrol station looking like that, how would be looking the camp.......what if there would be no Dior shop, no bathhouse, no pedicure and ....My dear! what if there would be real, unclean animals................" "Enough is enough, we are comming back home I could live a while without Dior, bu I can't live wiht wild animals....................."Said Soniel

So that's how the story ends, they come home OK, just a little shocked, but OK.

Heyyyy

Hi Dany.

Whats up? I'm glad that you droped me a line.

Me and Johnny? Oh that's long story. We broke up and than we started date again. Well it wasn't that long......

So you can get your money back because he proposed me.Well he said that marriage is a bullshit and if two people are in love they don't need any paper to confirm their love, but I started crying and screaming so he changed his mind. As you said we live only once.

About the concert....I'm soooooo sorry but I cannot go cuz I'm going to synagog with my parents on the shabat. I really wanted to see the Verve live.

Are you fancy of hen party? If you do I'm having it 24th of novembre.

Love Klara

Dear Klara

Dear Klara

How are you?
I haven't see you for long time. What were you doing all the time. Well I still study hight school. I heard that you broke up with Johnny. That's sooo sad beceuse I betted with Martha that you will marry him. And now becouse of YOU I lost 1000 pounds. Doesn't mind you live only once.........but without 1000 pounds. Oh fuck my life sucks.
The reason why I'm writting you is that I want you to go with me on concert The Verve next friday. It's gonna be in Rock cafe. Starts at 8:00 pm. I know It's such a short notice but remember you live only once.
Give my love to
Jane, Sona, Bara,Thomas, David, second Bara, Hedvika, David, Martin, Sara, Ben,Ester, your fish and dog

P.S Please do NOT take with you Eva, she is such a concert pooper.

My hopes and fears for the next year

Ok, I have a lot of fears and hopes for the next year. I think that I have problems like every other teenager like " Don't I look fat in this throusers" or " Where should I take the money for mother's birthday party( I know this ain't typicat teenage problem, but I like my mom)." etc. But for this year I have more serious problems most of them are because of school and my job. I think my biggest fear is my report, all of my friends are leaving this school because of bad report and I don't wanna end like them. But my biggest fear for now is 300 words home work. I don't know what should I write.
I'm very optimistic person so I have more hopes. I first I hope that I'm gonna finnish this school year and I will continue to the another year. I hope that I would have a lot of presents this Christmas/ Chanuka :) . Also I hope that I will NOT run out of the money. I hope my dream will come true and I will go with my friend at Mallorca this holidays. I hope that this year would be more snow . I HOPE THAT I WON'T USE THAT MUCH " I HOPE AND THAT ". My big dream is to see Oasis live cuz I grew up on this band so maybe this year they will finaly come to Czech republic. I really want to finish this home work soon. I hope that Elvis is still alive and he will record new songs because he was really good and modern music is missing somebody like him. Nothing is impossible and I don't believe stories about aliens abduction.
So that's it.
God save the queen and Oasis yours Danca