Richard: Good morning
Not friend: Morning you
Richard: I'd like to speak to Mr. Iforgotthename
Not friend:Whose calling, please?
Richard: Richie
Not friend: Hold on, please, I'll try to put you through......
......pause.......still pause............Richard starts to bite his nails
Mr:Hello
Richard: I am Richie
Mr.: Good morning, you overdrafted more than 2 billions pounds, because of you is financial crisis, are you available later on today.........
Richard: Oh, I am sorry I just bought A few computer games
Mr.: Euch and can you lend me them..
Richard: Yes
Mr.: So goodbye

Richard: Hi you
Friend: What's upppppppppppp you motherfucker
Richard: Is there Joe
Friend: Are you kidding me? It's me you idiot!!!!!!!!!!
Richard: Oh, hello.....I call because of the scuba-diving
Friend: OK, I listen.........
Richard: At first I forgot your e-mail..
Friend: It's colon:comma,dot.hyphen-@slash.cz how could you forgot???????
Richard: Hang on, I need to piss...........
...........
Richard: I need to talk......I'm in a red numbers
Friend: What the hell?........
Richard: I overdrafted
Friend: So.......
Richard: What do you do later
Friend: Nothing, 5 o'clock convinient
Richard: I love you man
Friend: Blah,blah see you later

Embarassing story of three friends

Once upon a time in one city were living three friends. Daniel, Soniel and Hedkoslav they were studing on school called Or chodesh(small, stinky Muslim school). Because they were all unbelievebly hard working on their study results they decited to go camping at holidays( of course after they would successfully vindicated their seminar work). They decited go to Schumava.

So day D finally come. And because they were clever guys they packed all of necassary stuff, like DVD player, LCD tv, computer, piano, microwave, co-pilot and Hedkoslav of course HAD to take his collection of disco-divas CD's with him( George Michael, Michael Jackson,....). Like cool campers they tooked a car. The jouney was going pretty good. Except that homeless whom they knocked down already in Prague. Fortunatelly they had a red Ferrari so the patch from poor homeless wasn't notable.

Like truel raw campers they were singing all the time. But only hardcore songs-they weren't any sharpeners. And because you cannot find more rough song than by Wham! so they were singing with George Michael whole the time-Wake me up before we go-go,Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo,take me dancing tonight.......I wanna hit that high......( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjk0QV4ca90)

Curve left, curve right, pass the village, overtake air-fighter and they would be there. As I already said the journey was curiously enough short. Only 15 miles left. "Hey Soniel, I need to piss, can you stop me there next to that petrol station?" Asked Daniel. "Ok, dookie" answered Soniel. So Daniel went to piss. Soniel was tanking.........but after a while they heard a horrible scream from the WC. "It was definitelly Daniel nobody has that hight voice"......Daniel runed out of the WC. "Go,goooooooo, start up the carrrrrrrrrrr" shouted Daniel. When they were far enough from that petrol station Daniel decited to talk. "There was.....only normall toilet paper......white.....with no parfume....." Soniel pulled down the steering wheel........."What? How? Where are we? In a jungle? No perfumed paper....it's so careless." Started whimpered Soniel. The only one who keeped his mind cleen was Hedkoslav "Hey guys, when is petrol station looking like that, how would be looking the camp.......what if there would be no Dior shop, no bathhouse, no pedicure and ....My dear! what if there would be real, unclean animals................" "Enough is enough, we are comming back home I could live a while without Dior, bu I can't live wiht wild animals....................."Said Soniel

So that's how the story ends, they come home OK, just a little shocked, but OK.